9.02.2010

Vox Populi, Vox Dei

This is your VORP season right here, folks. It starts in a very familiar way. I trust you will approve

"A very pleasant good evening to you, wherever you may be."

1. Change "Pleasant" to the last name of the MLB player who shares his first name with Dodger farmhand Paul, and move after the name of a month.

2. Delete every vowel, including Y

3. Replace every R with LL

4. Change every V to U, every H to A, and every W to O

5. Replace the last name of a Washington National with the position he plays.

6. Replace an ordinal number with "only"

7. Switch the first letter that appears before a double letter with the letter that occurs before the next double letter.

8. Change G to IS.

9. Move the last letter to the front, then move the 16th letter to the end.

10. Move the 16th and 17th letters four positions to the right. 

11. Move the 15th letter 9 positions to the right.

12. Move the antonym for "acid" to the beginning of the line.

13. Add a D before every U             

14.Go to http://caveemptorem.blogspot.com/p/last name of the person quoted.html



The answer to the puzzle is a Dodger. Comment freely in the thread, but if you have the solution, please don't give it away to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:
  • email me with the first and last name of the Dodger who is the answer, along with your reasoning (answers arrived at via luck or the wrong reasoning, even if correct, count for participation credit only). Please include your screen name somewhere in the email.
  • Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt. I may not be able to reply to your original email promptly, so please be patient and check back on the comment thread for the latest news; I may confirm correct answers there.

You have until 11pm PT tonight to submit your answer. Solution will be posted tomorrow. Good luck!

78 comments:

Mr. Customer said...

Mornin, boys and girls! Today's VORP entry should be both self-explanatory and frustrating, which is what I'm hoping for.

It also has a lot of moving parts, which makes me nervous. If you run into trouble, let me know.

Josh S. said...

I need to retrace my steps. I have half a quote and half gibberish.

Mr. Customer said...

Josh, which step # are you hitting trouble?

J. Steve said...

I'm with Josh... I've got a bunch of gibberish half-way through.

Josh S. said...

Email sent.

Josh S. said...

Going for coffee. Make your move, everybody!

Mr. Customer said...

I'll be able to look at the steps in about ten minutes.

Josh S. said...

The steps are OK. I found where I went wrong.

J. Steve said...

I have no idea where I went wrong and sent in an email for some help...

Mr. Customer said...

Two clarifications. I've added the .html after clue 14.

The puzzle contains only alpha characters. If you use numbers, they should be spelled out.

Josh S. said...

Welp. I'm stuck again.

Mr. Customer said...

Point of clarification. For the later steps, use only the quote, not the name of the person. The names only get you to the next steps

Golem said...

I'm only on the 315th page so far, but I'm getting tired. Answer sent.

Mr. Customer said...

We have our first finisher to survive the marathon!

1. Golem @11:17a

Mr. Customer said...

I will give a hint that I gave to Golem to clarify the final clue. It asks you to go back and look at the the previous quotes on each page. One of the answers. The final answer refers only to the specific people quoted in the puzzle.

This will sound needlessly cryptic until you reach that step.

Dusty Baker said...

Wait, there's more than one page? Damn. Brother's gotta get some work done. Real work.

Grrrrr...

Mr. Customer said...

@Dusty

So must we all, from time to time. Personally, I've been on cruise control into the long weekend since about 5pm on Tuesday.

Mr. Customer said...

J Steve is on the knockin' on the door.

J. Steve said...

And I'm in!

Mr. Customer said...

...and there are two!


1. Golem @11:17a
2. J. Steve @12:12p

Dusty Baker said...

@Mr C

I'm truly sorry it wasn't closer to 4PM on Tuesday.

Josh S. said...

Fack. Screwed up something on the last(?) page.

Mr. Customer said...

@dusty

Hell, I'm sorry it wasn't Monday, but what can you do.

Josh S. said...

Answer sent.

*punches a hole in a wall*

Mr. Customer said...

Josh is in at 1:32p

I'll update the record when I return to my abacus.

Mr. Customer said...

I think Josh has this thing sewn up, though only 85 points in front of J. Steve.

Dusty Baker said...

I see you put a Dusty-bomb in one of the clues on 2nd page in order to send my dirty mind off onto a tangent from which I could never return....hung me up.

Mr. Customer said...

@Dusty

There's one on the penultimate page, too. Kept cracking me up.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

When you say delete every vowel, including Y, is that only when Y is the vowel, or all Ys?

Mr. Customer said...

@MLASF

Every vowel, including every Y.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Damn your cryptic nonsense!

Mr. Customer said...

*giggles maniacally*

Dusty Baker said...

You mean "*gggls mncll*"

Josh S. said...

There is also a rogue apostrophe to hunt down, Dusty. I blame Steve Jobs.

Mr. Customer said...

Shit, I will find that little fucker and beat it senseless!

Mr. Customer said...

Killed two!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Stuck on the second page.

Mr. Customer said...

Which #, MLASF?

Dusty Baker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dusty Baker said...

Yeah I got stuck on second page too and had to move on to other things (e.g., work). The phone one killed me. Dry humping cell phone doesn't fit anywhere.

Dusty Baker said...

You're going to beat Steve Jobs senseless? Cool. Tell him it's for no end of page support for iPhones.

Mr. Customer said...

Nah, I was just putting those sneaky little things out of their misery. Can't blame anything but my giant clumsy thumbs.

Mr. Customer said...

What is it that most folks do (after dry humping) with their cell phones now days? It ain't using it to make calls.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Now I've breezed right through it. I'm stuck on the end of page 4. Question sent.

Dusty Baker said...

Surfing for clown porn? Commenting on SoSG?

Seriously, I think I know the answer to that one, but can't make it fit anywhere, which means I screwed something else up before that, though I didn't think I had, but that could easily be the case given that I'm an idiot and a person who really enjoys long sentences punctuated with appropriately-placed commas.

Mr. Customer said...

If only there were a quote about clown porn from anyone but Dibble, I totally would have used it.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Still waiting for a response.

Mr. Customer said...

Sorry MLASF, did you send another question?

Mr. Customer said...

Hold on, let me see if I can clarify my response.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

That's my fault, Mr C. My mail is acting very strangely.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

SO DAMN CLOSE

Mr. Customer said...

Wait for it…

Josh S. said...

Dusty, you shouldn't have spent extra time on that one clue.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I GOT IT!!!!

Dusty Baker said...

I'm confused...know the answer to one of the page's final riddle, but can't pug it into my browser and get it to render the page.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

One of my fruitless endeavors led to a Victoria's Secret page, so even if I couldn't solve the puzzle, I had something to be proud of.

Mr. Customer said...

Good work MLASF.

1. Golem @11:17a
2. J. Steve @12:12p
3. Josh S. @1:32p
4. MLASF @8:58p

Dusty Baker said...

^plug

Mr. Customer said...

@Dusty

Not rendering? It should go direct to the answer page using the directions based on the last line.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

So did J Steve usurp my place? Do I usurp Jason's?

Dusty Baker said...

On #73...that's the one I'm confused on.

Mr. Customer said...

J. Steve did move up into the second spot. I haven't run the other numbers.

Mr. Customer said...

@dusty

It's a one-word answer, similar to the other quotes. The full title is not used.

Dusty Baker said...

I just got it to work. It's the same g.d. word I was typing in an hour ago. I will never get this frickin hour back!

Mr. Customer said...

MLASF into the #3 spot, barring a stealth strike by Jason.

Mr. Customer said...

Being the puzzle maker is a bit like being Reverse Santa Claus.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Wait, you mean #2, right?

Mr. Customer said...

@MLASF

Current top 5

Josh - 589
J. Steve - 511
MLASF - 357
Jason - 335
Golem - 320

The comparatively fast solve really pushed the first two solvers up in the rankings.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Aw nuts.

Mr. Customer said...

Hmm. Took me all day to find a bit of lazy Latin. Good thing there are no Romans around to complain.

Dusty Baker said...

Answer sent.

Mr. Customer said...

Y uno mas.

1. Golem @11:17a
2. J. Steve @12:12p
3. Josh S. @1:32p
4. MLASF @8:58p
5. Dusty @9:48p

Dusty Baker said...

Bar's closed!

Dusty Baker said...

In your Mr. Reading List, you have Erin's site listed as "Robot's Took My Medicine."

Bad, bad, Mr. Customer.

Josh S. said...

I am da champeen*!








*Made of paper, because I didn't have to face ubragg. Or Mr. C, at least not in direct competition. But still, CHAMPEEN!

Dusty Baker said...

Lap dances for Josh!

Mr. Customer said...

Someday, I will have a T-shirt, a la VSIMH, that reads DUSTY BAKER IS MY COPY EDITOR.

Jason said...

Just for the hell of it, I solved this today since I was too busy destroying company property yesterday.